Fear of death made me a believer
Posted By Hilath
A lot of people do ask me why I became a Sufi Muslim after I had been an atheist. DCJ is right to point out that it was in fact insecurities about the finality of death that I finally succumbed to religion. I am not ashamed to admit that because whether I like it or not, it is the truth. Indeed, an editor of Haveeru, who is openly atheist, at that time scolded me for “blindly” following religion “just because you are afraid of death.” Deep inside I knew it to be true but I didn’t say anything because what was there to say?
So, despite my decision to embrace theism, I admit that my questions regarding God’s existence and the cause for my homosexuality remain unanswered. Unlike some other Maldivian friends, I am not afraid to admit the fact that I became a believer not because religion offers any answers but because it is one of the coping mechanisms for a person like me who developed depression due to the unavailability of answers to life’s basic questions such as “Is there a God?” and “Why does homosexuality exist?”…